The death of a baby affects all parents differently but the grief is often overwhelming and prolonged. The intensity of love parents feel for their baby is not measurable in the weeks or months of pregnancy.

Communication with parents

The videos below may help you as a healthcare professional if you are involved in the care of parents who have experienced a stillbirth or neonatal death.

Postnatal care

After a baby has died, a mother will still experience the same physical and emotional postnatal reactions. Physical reminders of the loss, such as vaginal bleeding, the production of breastmilk, painful stitches or a caesarean scar may be very distressing. It is important to ensure that mothers have adequate pain relief and postnatal care.

Being with baby

Some parents will name their baby but some prefer not to. Be sensitive and ask what parents would prefer. Seeing and holding a baby after death can be frightening for parents. Some may not have seen a dead person before. Prepare them for what to expect. Many parents cherish this memory later.

Termination of Pregnancy for Fetal Abnormality

Parents who make the decision to terminate their pregnancy following antenatal diagnosis of fetal abnormality will not only experience bereavement but also the guilt associated with their decision. It is important therefore that they receive the same level of care and support as any parent following the loss of their baby and should also be offered the same opportunities for memory making.

Multiple births

The loss of one twin or triplet can be very hard and confusing. Parents are grieving for the baby who has died but may also have ongoing concerns for the vulnerable survivor. Having a living baby does not reduce the grief for the baby or babies who have died and a living child’s progress can be a constant reminder of what might have been.

Deciding about a post mortem examination

If a baby dies after birth and the cause is unknown, the case must be referred to the Procurator Fiscal. Whilst this does not require parental authorisation, the reasons for this referral should be carefully explained to parents. Research shows that a post mortem examination may find new and often significant information about the cause of a baby’s death in 60-80% of cases. This may also discover whether there was a problem which could affect future pregnancies.

Post mortem examination can also contribute to important research into why babies die, and therefore potentially help to prevent more neonatal deaths in the future.

Deciding whether or not to have a post mortem can be an incredibly difficult decision to make. Some parents are desperate to know the reason why their baby died and others really may not want an examination.

Written information is available but remember to check reading ability and understanding. Allow time for parents to decide and ensure that regardless of the decision, parents know that their baby will be cared for at all times.

Types of post mortem examination

There are different types of post mortem: complete, limited or external only. It is important to go through the authorisation form carefully. Parents often have high expectations of a post mortem examination but sometimes there is no clear reason why a baby died. Even where a definitive cause of death is not identified, the examination can still yield useful information for families. 

Results are usually available within 8 to 12 weeks but can take longer if specific tests are done on tissue samples. However, the funeral can take place once the main post mortem examination has been completed.

Parents should be offered an appointment to discuss the results of a post mortem examination.

Bereavement following a termination of pregnancy

It is important to note, that women who have had a termination of pregnancy, for whatever reason, may too experience feelings of grief. For more information on abortion, please visit NHS Inform.